Then and now…

News blues…

With all the Trump craziness, it’s easy to forget: 

California’s fire woes continue…. 
Ramaphosa’s political woes continue…  
Zuma rears his head…. 
Coronavirus still has the upper hand… 

***

The Lincoln Project: Ratings (0:55 mins)
Meidas Touch:

Trump’s Mental Unhealth with Bandy Lee  (2:25 mins)
Trump Terrorism (1:00 mins)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

The US Embassy published another series of repatriation flights, one or two for almost every day of September. 

For details contact: 

https://za.usembassy.gov/ 

Tel: 012-431-4000 (outside South Africa: +27-12-431-4000) 

Johannesburgacsmessage@state.gov 

***

I’m taking to heart Kate Murphy’s essay “We’re All Socially Awkward Now” as she tackles an overlooked side effect of the pandemic: awkwardness. She writes: 

Social skills are a muscle, and right now they’re atrophying. Our personalities are getting flabby.
“The signs are everywhere… people oversharing on Zoom, overreacting or misconstruing one another’s behavior, longing for but then not really enjoying contact with others.”
Kate takes an everyday interaction and breaks it down into countless decisions — each decision a chance to get it wrong, each one an atom of anxiety. “Social interplay is one of the most complicated things we ask our brains to do.” You’ve got to “get the timing and pacing right, as well as titrate” — I love the choice of that word — “how much to share and with whom.”

Definition of titrate:
In chemistry: ascertain the amount of a constituent in (a solution) by measuring the volume of a known concentration of reagent required to complete a reaction with it, typically using an indicator.
In medicine: continuously measure and adjust the balance of (a physiological function or drug dosage). Example: “each patient received intravenous diazepam and pethidine, the doses being titrated according to the response"
A few years ago, Kate wrote a popular essay about attachment theory that began:

We humans are an exquisitely social species … thriving in good company and suffering in isolation. More than anything else, our intimate relationships, or lack thereof, shape and define our lives.”
Intimacy is on the rocks right now. Kate’s advice is to cut one another — and ourselves — some slack. And she has guidance to share from people who’ve survived much more extreme bouts of isolation, like in polar outposts and solitary confinement.

Kate Murray’s column resonates as isolated, locked down, implementing huge changes in the life of my elderly mother, I reached out for advice and support, not from family, but from professionals and new acquaintances … and “share” (over-share?) via this blog.
As I’ve intimated elsewhere in this blog, I left South Africa at 19 and since then, apart from the last 8 months, have never again lived here.
Looking back, I understand that my youth made me determined to grow as an adult, and to do it elsewhere.
My real home in South Africa was the wonderfully rural and relatively safe outdoors of the Valley of a Thousand Hills. The people I grew up with – aka “family” - was a collection of 2 adults and three children who shared DNA, not a nurturing, emotional support system.
Along with the stress and turmoil of my current life in South African, a great gift is the opportunity to look back and understand the context of “then” and “now.” The day by day posts shared in the blog allow me to share multiple perspectives, grope through the past with the present as context, maintain level-headedness despite fear, stress, longing – and respect my mother’s humanity as equal to my own.
It’s fascinating, humbling, frustrating, and very human.
I accept the challenge and intend to do it justice.