Good man

News blues

You can’t keep a good man down!

“After more than 50 years of government service, I plan to pursue the next phase of my career while I still have so much energy and passion for my field,” Dr Anthony Fauci said in a statement. “I want to use what I have learned as NIAID Director to continue to advance science and public health and to inspire and mentor the next generation of scientific leaders as they help prepare the world to face future infectious disease threats.”

Joe Biden, [79 years old] in a statement recognizing Fauci’s coming departure, hailed [Fauci, 81 years old] as a “dedicated public servant, and a steady hand with wisdom and insight honed over decades at the forefront of some of our most dangerous and challenging public health crises.” 

Read more >> 
Watch interview with Dr Fauci on his announcement and his views on zoonotic diseases, and the current atmosphere of hate and anger in the US >>  (11:53 mins)

***

A quick review of recent history – Covid and US response

Dr. Deborah Birx, the White House COVID-19 response coordinator under former President Donald Trump, on Sunday said the U.S. should not have had to rely on COVID data from Europe to protect Americans in the early days of the pandemic.
“In March of 2020, all of our data that I used to warn Americans of who was at risk for severe disease, hospitalization, and deaths came from our European colleagues,” Birx told CBS’ “Face the Nation. “That in itself should be an indictment of our system.”

Read more >> 

***

On war and culture war

Russian soldier speaks out… ‘I don’t see justice in this war’: Russian soldier exposes rot at core of Ukraine invasion >> 
Watch interview with this Russian soldier >> (5:33 mins)

***

The Lincoln Project:
Fire the Feds  (1:05 mins)
Receipts  (0:25 mins)

Healthy planet, anyone?

Nurdles, nurdles everywhere but none that we can capture…

Maritime authorities are considering stricter controls on the ocean transport of billions of plastic pellets known as nurdles after a series of spillages around the world.
Campaigners warn that nurdles are one of the most common micro-plastic pollutants in the seas, washing up on beaches from New Zealand to Cornwall. The multicoloured pellets produced by petrochemical companies are used as building blocks for plastic products, from bags to bottles and piping.

So, the UN seeks a plan to beat plastic nurdles?
Here’s a plan: NO more manufacture and use of plastic bags. No, not allow consumers off the hook simply by paying 10 cents, or 15 cents, or 20 cents per plastic bag. NO more plastic bags produced at all.
Let ‘em use cloth bring-your-own bags… or use up the plastic bags already littering the planet, dispose of them carefully, then bring their own bags….
Read more >> 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

Mary is amazing. She’s determined to quit her oxycodone use asap… Yesterday, she was down to 5mg every 8-plus hours. Today? She bit the small, white 5mg pill in half and plans to gauge her pain threshold accordingly. So far, so good. She says it is not “pain” she experiences as she fights this good fight, it’s more the feeling that her chest is “boxed in” and “squeezed”.

***

Yesterday, Mary accompanied me and a friend to the Sacramento Delta where I’m looking at purchasing another liveaboard boat. Yes, liveaboard is in my future, again.
It was a lovely day in the Delta; hot, hot…

***

Time, again, to track the change of seasons:
SF Bay Area:
Sunrise: 6:33am
Sunset: 7:49pm

KZN, South Africa:
Sunrise: 6:23am
Sunset: 5:40pm

Chugging along

Worldwide (Map) 
18 August, 2022 - 593,867,700 confirmed infections; 6,447,250 deaths
19 August, 2021 – 209,892,500 confirmed infections; 4,401,700 deaths
19 August, 2020 – 22,425,000 confirmed infections; 788,000 deaths

US (Map) 
18 August, 2022 - 93,368,674 confirmed infections; x,630,850 deaths
19 August, 2021 – 37,201,600 confirmed infections; 625,150 deaths
19 August, 2020 - 5,530,000 confirmed infections; 173,177 deaths

SA (Coronavirus portal) 
18 August, 2022 - 4,008,700 confirmed infections; 102,000 deaths
19 August, 2021 – 2,652,660 confirmed infections; 78,694 deaths
19 August 2020, – 596,060 confirmed infections 12,423 deaths

Post from:
19 August, 2021, “Hip to Covid” 
19 August, 2020, “Rile up” 

News blues

CDC director Rochelle Walensky admits flawed COVID-19 response and orders agency overhaul to boost transparency by releasing data more quickly and to improve communication with the public. 

Read more >> 

The roll-out of updated Covid boosters will coincide with the logistical tangle of the regular flu shot drive. Needless to say, there will be questions about timing the booster to provide the best protection through our third Covid winter. 

Read more >> 

Long COVID: is recovery finally getting the attention it deserves in the US? The US government plans to invest in new research that investigates the variability in recovery. 

Read more >> 

***

On war and culture war

Dozens of vehicles and some people on foot, clinging to their belongings,
streamed into Kharkiv, once Ukraine’s second largest city,
on April 29, fleeing fighting in a town to the north.
© New York Times. Ukraine Under Attack: Documenting the Russian Invasion >> 

***

The Lincoln Project:
Insider  (0:55 mins)
Outsider  (0:55 mins)
Dr Oz goes shopping  (0:40 mins)
President Biden on the Inflation Reduction Act (2:05 mins)
Laura Ingraham ditches Trump  (0:30 mins)
Last week in the Republican Party - August 16, 2022  (2:07 mins)

Healthy planet, anyone?

A recent study finds that ants can be better than pesticides for growing healthy crops, indeed, that harnessing natural insect power can, with proper management, have higher efficacy than resorting to harmful chemicals

***

Bosco the potbellied pig has lived in the front yard of a local house for many years. Whether he’s an older, perhaps wiser potbellied pig now than ever before, I’m not sure. I do know that he’s just as photogenic as he’s ever been.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

After trying to resolve the ongoing theft of succulents from her garden – as mentioned in a recent post  - my friend Linda gave up. 

She communicated her disappointment to the neighborhood.
I am sorry, Linda, that humans are so, well, human: can’t live without ‘em and, alas, have a hard time living with ‘em, too.

I love that Linda tries to communicate and doesn’t resort to violence.

***

On the meso front, Mary is healing by leaps and bounds. She’s pushing the envelope with the opioid drugs, cutting back as fast as she can, and intending to be done with oxy by the time chemo sessions are scheduled to begin – in about 2 weeks.
Cutting back with oxy is easier said than done. Now at 5mg every 6 to 6.5 hours, she’s often tuckered out from the effort.
“What I feel is not what I’d define as pain, more like a feeling that my chest is boxed in and constricted. Having said that, though, I also feel pinpricks of what I would define as pain.”
After not talking to a medical professional for more than 3 weeks, Mary emailed her surgeon and, after a back-and-forth of emails, was put in touch with a Physician’s Assistant. The PA was helpful on a variety of fronts, also assuring Mary that the pain she described – often located between her shoulder blades - was a known post-surgery symptom.
In other words, Mary’s healing well, better than many. This, Mary reports, is on a par with what she learns from the assorted online meso support groups and webinars she attends. “In fact,” she says, “it sounds as if I’m doing better than many participating in the same groups. That makes me optimistic.”
Me, too.
Keep on keeping on, Mary!

"Without fear of favor"

On war and culture war

I, like many Americans, have watched and wondered about Merrick Garland since his very human and touching acceptance speech for the role of US Attorney General. Since then, however, given all the b*s*t put out by Trump and the Trumpies, I’ve wondered what on earth was AG Garland doing? Or not doing? Was he asleep at the wheel? Was he terrified of raising his head above the parapets?
Turns out the guy was beavering away on minute details to implement a warrant to search Mar-a-Lago.
Woo hoo! My hero! A guy in the position of US AG requires cajones. Up until yesterday, Garland’s cajones were tidily tucked away. Now? The little guy displays big cajones!
You go, Garland! Here’s a straight-forward explanation of what’s going on in the US these days and what it takes to maintain a civil society. 

Watch and listen, ‘An Epic Showdown Between Rule Of Law And Law Of Power' >>  (8:00 mins)

***

Life imitates art… or is it art imitates life? No matter. It’s kinda art – and life… enjoy >>

And, birds, in conjuction with humans, create art >>

Healthy planet, anyone?

I live on the beach on the western side of a small island on the east side of San Francisco Bay. It’s a gorgeous spot (see short video on recent post ). We 7-plus million residents of this area face dramatic sea level rise.
Each day, some 390 billion gallons of water pass through a natural “opening” that is less than 90 feet/27.5 meters wide into the inner bay. Plus, more water from the interior – the rivers of the Sacramento Delta, for example. That’s a lot of water through a narrow gap. How, I wonder, will sea level rise affect the Pacific Ocean side and the inner bay side?
Until recently I figured engineers would create some sort of tidal barrier a la Venice  or the Thames.
I’m not sure of shipping traffic into Venice (mostly cruise ships?) or to London (like the Bay Area weighted towards trade?) but heavy shipping traffic into San Francisco Bay, to the Port of Oakland, for example, would be adversely affected by such a barrier. (Interesting Covid-realted info on shipping in the bay)
Enter creative thinking on the subject of barriers to thwart flooding of existing infrastructure: the Billion Oyster Project

The non-profit [Billion Oyster Project] hopes to restore 1 billion oysters to New York Harbor by 2035, in an effort to improve the area’s flood resiliency.
The organization also works with Living Breakwater, a nature-based green infrastructure in the works along the Staten Island coastline, to cultivate the region’s shellfish habitat. Overseen by New York state governor’s office of storm recovery, this $107m effort to mitigate storm surges through living barriers has installed two breakwaters – a series of rock piles that blunt the impact of waves – off the borough’s coast. A total of eight breakwaters are planned.

Read more >> 

Perhaps now that Prez Biden has successfully begun with at least one plan, the Inflation Reduction Act  to address climate change, more creative ideas such as Billion Oyster Project will see fruition. “Thoughts and prayers….”

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

Healing is a series of good days and bad days. Yesterday was a good day. Mary and I went walking along the beach and chatted with a woman “walking” her young parrot. Well, she walked and her bird rode upon her hand and wrist. We encountered them after the bird and the bird lover engaged a garden sprinkler. The bird thoroughly enjoyed fluffing its feathers and spritzing under the sprinkler mist. Mary and I watched fascinated as the bird clung to the woman’s hand held under the misty water and fluttered its wings and feathers. The bird appeared ecstatic.
Afterward, the woman encouraged the parrot to “step up” onto Mary’s arm. Close up, it was a gorgeous creature. This iPhone camera photo hardly does justice to the speckles of turquoise area the creature’s head and neck….

***

Mary and I participated in our second Zoom support group for those struggling or those supporting those struggling with mesothelioma. It included about a dozen people.
Mary and I share an existential view that slivers of humor exist in most situations, indeed, that humor heals. Alas, this point of view is scarce in the meso world. Yes, this is a horrible disease, made more horrible in that it derives from working – making a living – using toxic materials that manufacturers KNEW was toxic yet continued to sell. The worse kind of profit over human lives.
There are many forms of meso. Mary may or may not have the worst form; we’re babes in the mesothelioma woods. So far, we agree that suffering with peritoneal meso  – malignancies in the lining of the abdomen – appear to be a worse form.
Mary says, “At least my meso is confined to one lung… and the surgeon scraped out all but the tiniest bits and pieces.” (Pic of what surgeon removed from Mary’s lung.) Scraping all the bits and pieces from the lining of the abdomen seems a greater challenge.”
Nevertheless, Mary and I agree that one factor that appears missing from these meso online gatherings is humor. Yes, meso sufferers face daunting challenges. Yes, everyone has a personal trajectory to make peace with one’s diagnosis. Yes, maybe Mary and I have, so far, only encountered the online gatherings of people yet to find the humor in their situation. Or, yes, we’re just ignorant brats who refuse to face up to our new reality and deflect with humor.
We agree with, say, Joan Rivers: “Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny.”
Scott Weems, a cognitive neuroscientist and author, said  “My first thought when I think about humour is it’s a great way for us to have evolved so we don’t have to hit each other with sticks.”
George Burns said, “"I think when humor has a basic honesty, you can use it all your life.” 
I could go on quoting well-known comedians but why? What counts is how you experience humor/humour in your life. I maintain that cracking a joke here and there about one’s own experience is healthy and, indeed, funny and healing.
Try it. You may like it.
Mary and I understand that people afflicted with an incurable disease might find humor misplaced, unkind, and inappropriate. We also agree that the support groups that do not display forms of humor are not for us.
What to do?
That is the question.

Another week

Worldwide (Map) 
August 11, 2022 - 588,032,550 confirmed infections; 6,429,100 deaths
August 12, 2021 – 204,965,350 confirmed infections; 4,328,770 deaths
August 13, 2020 – 20,621,000 confirmed infections; 749,400 deaths

US (Map) 
August 11, 2022 - 92,608,650 confirmed infections; 1,035,780 deaths
August 12, 2021 – 36,198,200 confirmed infections; 618,520 deaths
August 13, 2020 - 5,198,000 confirmed infections; 166,050 deaths

SA (Coronavirus portal) 
August 11, 2022 - 4,004,555 confirmed infections; 101,985 deaths
August 12, 2021 – 2,554,300 confirmed infections; 75,775 deaths
August 13, 2020 – 569,000 confirmed infections 11,010 deaths

Posts from:
August 12, 2021, “Next phase” 
August 13, 2020, “Slogging” 

News blues

Caring for oneself and one’s loved ones during this pandemic is more challenging by the day. Accurate stats and data is harder to find – due to the lapse in collection efforts. We hear that Covid-19 cases are rising again, but not to worry as redesigned vaccines are on the horizon.
Both Mary and I are as vaccinated as possible yet, given her diagnosis, should we get another COVID-19 vaccine booster now or should we wait for the new shots? 

Read more >> 

CNN’s take on boosters:

…with colder months just around the corner in the northern hemisphere, public health authorities across the world are getting ready for a potential spike in coronavirus cases.
Getting people at risk of severe disease boosted is a big part of the plan. But guidance on who, when and how depends largely on who you ask.
Let’s start with the basics: All adults should have had their first booster by now. The data shows clearly that an extra shot of an mRNA vaccine increases protection, including against severe disease.

Read more >> 

And ABC’s take on booster and Covid:

After several weeks of steady increases in coronavirus infections and hospitalizations, there are encouraging signs that the latest viral resurgence may be abating in the United States.
The rate of new infections appears to be dropping, with the U.S. now reporting 107,000 new cases each day — an average that has fallen by 12% in the last week, according to data collected by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Read more >> 

***

On war and culture war

The dark amid the light … or do I mean the light amid the dark?
Overall, it’s good news – at least for an obsessive like me. Yes, I’m an annoying stickler for saving energy when possible. “When possible” includes switching off lights in one’s home that don’t need to be on. Switching off lights is an anomaly in the US where it’s common to leave lights on when exiting a room, departing a living space, etc. Drives me nuts as it’s so unnecessary. Taking just one more second to switch off a light, done by thousands – millions? - of people across country could positively impact the power grids, bring down costs, and burn less coal (and other fossil fuels) to create electricity. Why not train oneself – and one’s kids – to do this small action? Given this obsession, imagine my optimism when I read “Pushed by a looming energy crisis, cities across Europe are switching off the lights.”

While Spain has made such measures mandatory, ordering shops to turn their lights off at night, in other places local authorities are voluntarily hitting the switch, arguing it's a good time to trial light-saving measures.
Berlin is switching off the spotlights illuminating 200 of its historic buildings and monuments, and a number of towns and cities in Austria, Germany and Italy have reduced street lighting or turned off commercial signs.
In France, 14 communes in the Val d'Oise department north of Paris are trialing measures to fully switch off public lighting at night. Local authorities estimate shutting off street lights for three-and-a-half hours every night will help curb energy consumption by about a quarter.

Altogether now: C’mon, people, switch off that darned light! If Europeans can do it, so can you!
Read more >> 

***

The Lincoln Project:
Nowhere to hide  (0:44 mins)
Getting sh*t done  (0:55 mins)
Biden Kentucky  (1:07 mins)

Healthy planet, anyone?

Photo essay: Europe’s worst drought ever >> 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

Meso Mary is in the back-and-forth stage of post-surgery recovery. One day she feels as if she can cut down on her meds – specifically, oxycodone - she’s afraid of becoming addicted - next day she feels she’s already addicted as she’s unable to cut back. The docs tell her to relax, take the drugs, after all it’s only 3 weeks since her invasive surgery, no need to cut back so soon. She listens, takes their advice, still tries to cut back, and explains, “I’m cutting back just a little bit, an hour here and there, not much.” Except an hour is much when one is discomforted by pain.
Isn’t it?
It’s easy to have an opinion. Much harder to maintain that opinion after one has been through the wringer of diagnosis, surgery, pain, recovery, pain, slow healing, pain….
Mary’s anxiety about addiction indicates the power of the media playing up the unprecedented numbers of Americans addicted to oxy. Yes, opioids are addictive  No, Mary is not a candidate for addiction. For one thing, addiction is unlikely if the drug is taken to address “real” pain. Apparently, it is after pain abates and the patient continues taking the pain killer that addiction arises.
Other than that, Mary appears to be recovering well. She and I walk several times per day, eat well, take naps as needed.

Yesterday, we visited the beach again. A perfect day. 

  

She’s on a trajectory to heal.
Thank the gods.

***

My friend, Linda, an avid gardener has a problem with local residents stealing her succulents. Such theft has been an ongoing epidemec in our town for years. One plants a succulent one day, next day all that remains is a hole indicating the theft. As a fellow gardener, I cannot grasp the notion of stealing plants yet, like stealing catalytic converters, succulent theft happens.
Linda's response is to gently request residents desist.
I hope this works.

Supercharged

The Lincoln Project:
CPAC Day 3 in 2 minutes  (1:57 mins)
CPAC Day 2 in 83 seconds (1:25 mins)
Alike  (0:55 mins)
Wrong side  (0:27 mins)
Randy Rainbow: Thoughts and prayers (3:46 mins)

Healthy planet, anyone?

Scientists have long known and warned that climate breakdown is supercharging infectious diseases, making them more frequent and dangerous. But the new paper quantifies the extent of that growing threat, concluding that a stunning 58% of all documented infectious diseases — 218 of the total 375 — have been aggravated in some way by one or more climate hazards associated with greenhouse gas emissions, including warming temperatures, drought, wildfires, sea-level rise and extreme precipitation.
[Camilo Mora, a climate scientist at UH Manoa and the paper’s lead author,] stressed that that estimate, as alarming as it is, is conservative. The findings exclusively draw on cases with evidence linking climate hazards to infectious disease, he said.
…
…researchers break down the ways one crisis has helped fuel another. Climate change has brought people and pathogens in closer proximity. Warming temperatures and precipitation changes have allowed for mosquitoes, ticks, birds and other disease vectors to expand their range, while human displacement and migration from sea-level rise and extreme weather has resulted in new contacts with dangerous pathogens…. Hotter land temperatures are driving a surge in mosquito-borne viruses like dengue fever, while warming oceans have been linked to major increases in vibriosis, bacterial infections caused by eating contaminated seafood or swimming in tainted water. Additionally, climate impacts have allowed for pathogens to more successfully reproduce and become more virulent, while simultaneously blunting our own ability to avoid and fight off disease.

Read “Climate Change Is Supercharging Most Infectious Diseases…”  >>

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

Meso Mary is in the back-and-forth stage of post-surgery recovery. One day she feels as if she can cut down on her meds – specifically, oxycodone - she’s afraid of becoming addicted - next day she feels she’s already addicted as she’s unable to cut back. The docs tell her to relax, take the drugs, after all it’s only 3 weeks since her invasive surgery, no need to cut back so soon. She listens, takes their advice, and still tries to cut back, and explains, “I’m cutting back just a little bit, an hour here and there, not much.” Except an hour is much when one is discomforted by pain.
Isn’t it?
It’s easy to have an opinion. Much harder to maintain that opinion after one has been through the wringer of diagnosis, surgery, pain, recovery, pain, slow healing, pain….
Mary’s anxiety about addiction indicates the power of the media playing up the unprecedented numbers of Americans addicted to oxy. Yes, opioids are addictive. No, Mary is not a candidate for addiction. For one thing, addiction is unlikely if the drug is taken to address “real” pain. Apparently, it is after pain abates and the patient continues taking the pain killer that addiction arises.
Other than that, Mary appears to be - and insists that she's recovering well. She and I walk several times per day, talk, eat well, take naps as needed.
She’s on a trajectory to heal.

I'm on a trajectory to help her heal.  
Thank the gods.

Healing begins

Worldwide (Map)  

August 4, 2022 - 581,482,920 confirmed infections; 6,412,307 deaths
August 5, 2021 – 200,670,800 confirmed infections; 4,264,000 deaths
August 6, 2020 – 18,753,000 worldwide confirmed infections; 706,800 deaths

US (Map) 
August 4, 2022 - 91,961,550 confirmed infections; 1,032,820 deaths
August 5, 2021 – 35,392,700 confirmed infections; 615,150 deaths
August 6, 2020 – 4,824,000 confirmed infections; 158,250 deaths

SA (Coronavirus portal) 
August 4, 2022 - 4,004,555 confirmed infections; 101,982 deaths
August 5, 2021 – 2,497,655 confirmed infections; 73,875 deaths
August 6, 2020 – 529,900 confirmed infections; 9,298 deaths

Post from:
August 5, 2021: “Hyacinth as virus” 
August 6, 2020, “Reaching out” 

***

The Lincoln Project:
Wrong side  (0:27 mins)
Eric for Missouri (0:49 mins)
Last week in the Republican Party - August 3, 2022  (2:10 mins)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

Meso Mary is in the back-and-forth stage of post-surgery recovery. One day she feels as if she can cut down on her meds – specifically, oxycodone (she’s afraid of addiction), next day she feels she’s already addicted and unable to cut back. 

The docs tell her to relax, take the drugs, after all it’s only 3 weeks since her invasive surgery, no need to cut back so soon. She listens, takes their advice, and still tries to cut back. She explains, “I’m cutting back just a little bit, an hour, not much.” 

Except an hour is much when one is discomforted by pain.
This is the power of the media playing up the unprecedented numbers of Americans addicted to oxy. Yes, opioids are addictive.  No, Mary is not a candidate for addiction. For one thing, addiction is unlikely if the drug is taken to address “real” pain. Apparently, it is after pain abates and the patient continues to take the pain killer that addiction arises.
Other than that, Mary appears to be recovering well. She and I walk several times per day, eat well, take naps as needed.
I’m so relieved she’s on a trajectory to heal.

Alas, after this batch of healing ends, chemo begins.     

Let it rain...

News blues

Despite wildfires making their “own weather”, today, San Francisco Bay Area has a light sprinkling of rain. Are the two related? Who knows? In the meantime, let’s enjoy the sprinkles. Read more >> 

***

Every person and every case of covid is unique with no hard-and-fast rule for how sick a person will get or how long a person remains infectious. These guidelines offer a general framework, but patients should consider their different circumstances, priorities and resources to assess risk. 

***

The mesothelioma community is large, tight, caring, and constantly toiling away in the background. Once a diagnosis of mesothelioma is confirmed, the “meso community” gets involved with free materials, free advocacy, legal advice and support, free online seminars – and a library full of free publications, from recipe books to more techno-medico information on types of meso, meso care facilities, the latest on chemo and/or immunotherapy, etc. This community, one quickly discovers, is large, diverse, helpful, and “on the ball.”
As Mary’s primary at-home care giver, I get involved wherever I can to ensure Mary – and I – access whatever information we can to address her long-term needs. (More below.)

On war and culture war

Ukrainian war-art exhibition arrives in Brussels >> 

***

The Lincoln Project:
Weekend (0:37 mins)
The Boss  (1:47 mins)
Meidas Touch: Texas Paul EXPOSES how Trump is Exploiting Ex-Wife Ivana’s Death for Profit  (3:37 mins)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

Mary has been doing well with the meds. She is concerned (so am I) about the oxycodone. The dosage was 10mg immediately after surgery and dropped down to 5mg before she returned home. We maintained the 5mg dose every 4 to 5 hours until last night when we implemented 5mg every 6 hours. This is proving exhausting. That extra hour or so between dosage is, Mary reports (and I see) very challenging. Today, instead of up-an-at-‘em Mary, I see slow moving, short-of-breath, and pain scrunched Mary. 

She’s not her usual self, ready to take on the day. Rather, she’s staying in bed Mary, not hungry Mary, unwilling to engage in protracted conversations Mary. 

She’s also determined Mary. “I’ve gone this far with cutting back the dosage – and I've extended the time between dosages. Why would I stop doing that now? Pain is to be expected. I’ve had my left lung scraped and bruised, banged and bashed. That hurts. Drugs help, but not enough. Let me alone for now. I can manage.”
What can I do but keep an eye on her and let her manage her health her way?

But, oh, it hurts to see her hurt.