The Case for Political Exile for Donald Trump suggests We the People exile The Donald as Napoleon was exiled. I second that.
Indeed, why not exile The Donald - and family - to Thomas island. This is the 70–78 acres (28–32 ha) island in the subdistrict East End of Saint Thomas, owned, from 1998 until his 2019 death, by Donald’s friend American convicted child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein .
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Cry, the beloved country. Doctor reacts to US Covid-19 numbers:
'It's a slaughter' as forty-four states see a rise in hospitalization and the number of daily new cases in the US…
News blues…
Another example of Karma at work?
The Alaska congressman who once ridiculed the seriousness of the novel coronavirus, calling it the “beer virus,” said on Thursday he is now infected with it.
The announcement by Representative Don Young comes as the state’s governor on Thursday warned that health-care and public-safety systems were at risk of being overwhelmed by the rapid spread of the virus across Alaska.
Young, the 87-year-old Republican who is Alaska’s sole U.S. House of Representatives member, made the announcement on Twitter.
“I have tested positive for COVID-19. I am feeling strong, following proper protocols, working from home in Alaska, and ask for privacy at this time.”
With so many of Trump’s do-nothing-about-Covid cabinet and more than
130 Secret Service protectors infected, one might reconsider Karma. Hinduism and Buddhism state that the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, decides their fate in future existences.
Or, as Westerners put it, “What goes around, comes around….
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News from the neighborhood. Today, while bantering with gals in a hair salon (see details below), I carefully asked what the women thought of the US election and the results.
An elderly woman to my right said, “I think Trump’s an idiot.”
A younger woman on my left said, “I think Trump’s great! He’s a strong leader.” She added, “Bidden (her pronunciation of ol’Joe’s name) isn’t a strong leader.”
Another woman chimed in, “South Africans
love Trump!”
The elderly woman to my right opined again, “They’re idiots, too!”
Usually, I’d chime in with my firm opinion – at least say, snidely, “I’m with her” and point to the woman on my right. Instead, I corrected pronunciation – “It’s Bye-den, not Bidden,” - and not only refrained from offering my opinion, I changed the subject. Me
not opining shows I am capable of holding my tongue. Progress!
Nevertheless, Trump as a “strong leader”?
Baffling.
***
A message to the citizens of the USA from UK actor and comedian John Cleese (Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, etc.):
"Britain is Repossessing the U.S.A."
In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Arkansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new prime minister, Boris Johnson, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
First, look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary, then:
- Look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
- The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
- Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" and “right?” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.
- July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
- You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.
- Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
- All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
- All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British sense of humour.
- The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
- You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
- The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager.
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South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them.
- Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
- You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us. No more Orange Bowl, Rose Bowl, Cereal Bowl or Super Bowl. From now on..... get used to the World Cup.
- Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
- You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
- An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
- Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.
God save the Queen.
John Cleese
(FYI: The humor in Cleese's message may appeal only to those deeply familiar with USA/UK cultural differences with a soupçon of British colonialism....)
Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
Except for my own snip-snip-snippings and cut-cut-cuttings, I’ve not had a “real” haircut in 7 months. Today I splurged with a professional cut at Rene’s salon, Classic Cuts. What a treat to be among chatty, vivacious (if uninformed) people!
Moreover, Rene remembered me from 7 months ago when we’d discussed the neighborhood: she once lived in a house on the same short street.
Today, I learned that she’s in touch with Johan, a man whose father purchased this house when Johan was two years old (he’s now in his early forties). These days, Johan lives in Pretoria (aka, for South Africans, as “behind the boerewors curtain.” For non-South Africans: boerewors, Afrikaans for “farmers’ sausage,” denotes a long, no link-cut-as-needed, uniquely South African “meaty treat” – and implies conversative views.)
I asked Johan if the smallest pair of the children’s footprints memorialized in concrete – shown here, on left - were his. They were.
He shared that his father had built the garden pond – although the current pond configuration sounds different to his father’s version.
Peoples’ history. I love it!
***
Mint plants run rampant in this garden. I don’t mind; mint is fragrant, what’s not to like?
Last year, I tried, unsuccessfully, to make mint jelly. Mint has no natural pectin and, alas, my attempts to add pectin failed: my mint jelly never gelled. Instead, I have a large jar of mint syrup. Surprise! Mint syrup is
the perfect ingredient for the Cuban mojito cocktail. Ice, soda, two spoons of mint syrup, and a dash of rum. Unlike many South Africans, drinking alcohol is not my regular habit. Lockdown has persuaded me, however, of the efficacy of an occasional “sun-downer” while relaxing on the bank of the pond – albeit a solitary activity since I’m starved for company. I purchased a bottle Bicardi white rum: R199.99I/ US$ 12. (Compare this to the fancier brands that cost into the range of R400 to R500/US$26 to US$32.)
In the past, my mojitos required mulling mint and sugar, adding ice, adding soda water, and topping off with rum. Nowadays? Two spoons of mint syrup, ice, soda water, and rum. Voila. Mojito-in-a-moment!
Cheers!
Hiccup!
